Pat: "Sometimes when I think about you I touch myself."

Luke:

Joe: "Looking through a kaleidoscope, he wonders why the giant eyeballs are there with Goku from Dragon Ball Z masturbating on a tightrope."

Pat:

Luke: "George resists the illusion created by the cliff monster by stabbing himself in the head!"

Joe:

Pat: "Monkeyman didn't want to die, but Godzilla said it would be fun!"

Luke:

Joe: "The crocodile seemed to think giving Harry a present was a good idea, but he appeared to be wrong."

Pat:

Luke: "Harry Potter was angry that his alligator lover had gotten him the wrong flavor ice cream!"

Joe:

Pat: "The man was so angry that dinosaurs were allowed to eat ice cream cones that he threatened to poke one with a stick."

Luke:

Joe: "Back! Back you demon from Hell! Your offerings will not please me!"

Pat:

Luke: "From the top of the stairs, the spork king gave out his instructions."

Joe:

Pat: "Sporks enjoy fellatio on the stairs. Light bulbs aren't so sure."