Joe: "Discovering that it was NOT Santa but a black samurai, little Timmy immediately lept into the bowels of Hell."

Luke:

Pat: "Outside of a town in Michigan, the Ninjas use the breakdancing scarecrow Santa robot to trick Dennis into searching the wildfire for lost croissants."

Joe:

Luke: "While Evil Santa and Black Ninja visited Michigan, Dennis the Menace and Winnie the Poo hid in the Forrest."

Pat:

Joe: "Robo Santa and his ninja buddy were going on a road trip to save Pikachu and Ash from being eaten by Tom Hanks."

Luke:

Pat: "Tom Hanks weeps laser tears for those crushed underneath Leonardo's Volkswagen. Robo-Santa is pleased."

Joe:

Luke: "Donatello didn't care that he had killed 2 people, for he could just blame it on the lasers!"

Pat:

Joe: "Jewish painting grandma stabbed those Nazi boys, but it looks like they have weirdly shaped chocoalte chip cookies on their chests. Fuck if I know. And a green laser."

Luke:

Pat: "Deformed Nazis with shaved chests hate painting. They are indifferent to rolled up rugs."

Joe:

Luke: "Hitler McBroccolihands did not like strange women inside of his vintage NFI football."

Pat:

Joe: "Leonardo the Ninja Turtle, disguised as Hitler, uses his X-ray vision to see the twin mexicans inside a football."