Pat: "Clown prostitutes are not as profitable as you might think."

Luke:

Joe: "A black clown trying to pick up some white clown bitches in his sweet ride is also trying not to run over a little doggy."

Elissa:

Ed: "Aunt Jemima propositioned sex from Ronald McDonald's McHarem as she sped down the street, barely noticing the dog which was the equivalent of an asshole."

Pat:

Luke: "Black George Washington was pleased by the cone, however, he didn't notice the asshole dog."

Joe:

Elissa: "The basketball player told the Asian cat that pink ice cream cones receive his approval."

Ed:

Pat: "Cats and basketball players with feet larger than their heads agree, pink cones are back in style."

Luke:

Joe: "Sleeping kitty guards FAB-YEW-LUSS Mordor, while a guy with sweet kicks and no arms dreams of being the Wal-Mart smiley face, outside of a basketball court."

Elissa:

Ed: "Sauron and Vadercat looked on as the giant double-amputee basketball player happily fouled out of the game."

Pat:

Luke: "The Eye of Sauron and Darth Vader dog witness the first ever face kick reverse goatse."

Joe:

Elissa: "As he tore through a Picasso, the man saw a glimpse of the future ... Jedi Knight dogs protecting Mordor and ninjas fighting because one's hair was better than the other."

Ed:

Pat: "The man hated abstract art, especially when it reminded him of Lord of the Rings, ninjas, and dogs with lightsabers."

Luke:

Joe: "^_^ Crazy anime boy is really angry at the situation outside of his house, which is a fight between Kirby who's swallowed Mr. Game and Watch, and a Jedi Labrador. Oh, and Sauron is setting the sky on fire."

Elissa:

Ed: "Sauron burned down Joe's purple house while Kirby ate the Jedi padawan's master."

Pat:

Luke: "While Kirby mouth-punched Dildo-Wielding-Jesus-Link's loose beard hair, Sexy Joe sat in his burning abode."

Joe:

Elissa: "Super Joe uses his special "mind powers" to light a house on fire, while a bearded Link-like Lucas tries to defend himself with a broken sword and a purple sock against an attacking Kirby. "

Ed:

Pat: "Strange videogame crossovers make SuperMariJoe burn down houses with his mind. And break the occasional sword."