Pat: "When your face falls off, you don't dwell on burnt pizza."

Mike:

Rylen: "When good pie goes bad."

Pat:

Mike: "As the baby potato ran as fast as it could from it's own evil clone, the evil clone laughed mercilessly."

Rylen:

Pat: "The monster strawberry chases the blue potato down the street."

Mike:

Rylen: "It's a well known fact that strawberries hate potatoes."

Pat:

Mike: "When the man with one sleeve offered to read him a book, titled "Mr.Strawberry Protests Against Abortion", Jim was so shocked and disgusted that he went into a catatonic state."

Rylen:

Pat: "Jim died in disgust when he found out his best friend supported strawberry abortion."

Mike:

Rylen: "Bob's atypical views on food rights results in his best friend Jim's premature death."

Pat:

Mike: "Anti-Carrot Man angrily murdered his son when he found him keeping one as a pet."

Bonus picture of the final caption, by Mike: